


Abeyance

by Rhapsoddity



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-05-03 01:28:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14557890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhapsoddity/pseuds/Rhapsoddity
Summary: Jeremy wakes up in hospital after he recovers from the SQUIP'S deactivation, weeks after everyone else had recovered. However, he doesn't remember any of it. Or anything for that matter. He doesn't know who he was and who are the people around him.





	1. 1

Everything felt extremely heavy. The air, his body, his thoughts. Although disorienting, it was also relaxing. You could just drift away. Jeremy wanted this. It would be so easy. However, there was a muddle of voices that was bothering him, just out of reach that he could hear, and it was pulling him out of it. It would be fine if the voices were clear, but it was like he wasn't wearing glasses, but you know, for his ears. Try as he might, Jeremy couldn't tune out the noise. So he tried to tune into the noise.

He as he focused more on the voices, they became clearer, but he was pulled more and more out of the relaxation. He wasn’t comfortable with that in the slightest but it’s not like he could do much. His still felt unmeasurably heavy but he was getting the feeling back in him. Slowly. Jeremy tried to see if he could move. The most he could muster was a wiggle of the fingers. That was ridiculously exhausting. How the hell was he going to be able to move anything else? As he wiggled them, the voices raised, becoming sharp and clear.

“His fingers moved!”

“A-are you sure?”

Jeremy could almost hear the look the first voice must have given to the second; Do I look unsure to you my good dude? He focused again, pouring as much energy as he could muster and finding a hand by his, he just about managed to interlock his fingers into theirs, who he assumed was owned by the first voice.

“Michael holy crap,” the second voice breathed, “Do you think he's, uh, conscious?”

“I dunno, but I don't think you can interlace your fingers with someone if you're out of it,” Michael replied. If Jeremy hadn’t noticed the shake in Michael’s voice, he definitely did in his firm but lightly shuddering grip.

“That's pretty gay you know-”

“/Not/ the time and place for that Rich, and also, shut up???” Jeremy could /feel/ the stare Michael gave Rich, wow. “Jer, if you can hear us, tap twice.”

Was Jer his name? Or was it short for something? He assumed it was short for something. His finger twitched against Michael's twice. Michael let out a sob. Jeremy was conscious. Jeremy was back! He tried to hide how shakey his voice was. He was just so damn glad to had Jer back.

“How are you feeling? One for good, two for bad, three for ehhhh.”

He tapped three times. Jeremy would feel better if he didn't feel like he was weighed down by a ton of bricks. He had dragged himself to consciousness, but he was so damn low on energy now that he could pass out any moment. He had all the feeling back in him, and frankly he ached like hell, but he just couldn't move. Jeremy poured as much energy as he could into opening one eye.

He immediately regretted this. His vision was flooded with painfully bright light. It was so bright it made his head throb. He very slowly made himself to adjust to the light, forcing his other eye open as well. The pristine white walls didn’t help with the brightness, if anything it made the room seem even brighter. Jeremy gathered he was in hospital. Who he assumed was Rich had left at some point as there was only one person in the hospital room, a boy about his age in a red hoodie covered in patches and a pair of white headphones. His face was scrunched into a smile, tears streaming from his cheeks. He looked familiar, but Jeremy just couldn't recall from where. When he tried, he felt a buzz at the nape of his neck and was met with a wall of haziness.

When Michael saw Jeremy open his eyes and lock with his, he couldn't hold back another wave of tears. Oh boy oh man he was finally awake. He could see something different about Jeremy in his eyes. He didn't think anything of it as of course Jeremy was different, anyone would be if they had experienced the SQUIP's deactivating as had as Jeremy had. While most of the victims were out for a couple of weeks, Jeremy had been unconscious for over a month, not brain dead but not awake.

The fact that he was awake didn't stop Michael from being anxious. What if Jeremy blamed him for making him feel like his. What if he didn't want to hand out anymore. What if he didn't remember him at all. Michael gulped, forcefully suppressing this spiral of thoughts.

“Jeremy, do you...know w-who I am?”

Did Michael know that Jeremy didn't know who he was? He didn't want the boy to worry; he looked like he'd been through enough already. M-I-C-H-A-E-L. Relief began to spread through Michael's face.

The next events flew by like a flash. Obviously it spanned over hours and hours but Jeremy was barely keeping himself conscious so keeping focused was a no go. Nurses and doctors came in with who Jeremy assume must be his father, and sorted him out, discharging him surprisingly quickly (Newsflash; it really wasn’t that quickly at all). He was shipped off home and told to stay in bed for a few days to recuperate.

Jeremy couldn't remember anything about himself, and his room didn't reap a lot of results. From the hospital he knew he was called Jeremy Heere. He knew that he definitely had a preference for stripes and cardigans with a quick glance at his wardrobe. His internet history was from well over a month ago and was full of Google searches about…”SQUIPS”? What the hell was a 'SQUIP’? On his bookshelf was a mix of school material and an amalgamation of magical girl and shonen manga. That gave him a VERY vague idea of who he was. Vague wasn’t exactly helpful. He needed something solid to work from.

Most of his first day of 'resting’ he spent moping around his room. He had absolutely nothing to do, even blitzing through his manga collection didn’t take long. It just felt alien not knowing what to occupy himself with. Hell, all of this was alien to him. Jeremy assumed Michael and Rich were at school. Did he go to the same school as them? Were they his friends? The answers he wanted continued to evade him, following the buzz. He didn't like this stagnant feeling, neither did he like the lack of memory he had but he couldn't do much about it. At some point that afternoon, well after Jeremy had resigned himself to lying in bed, his dad knocked on his door.

“How you holding up bud?” He only had the door open a crack, poking his head in. Jeremy could hear a quiet scuffle behind the door. Jeremy was suspicious of the noise.

“Eh, so-so.” Jeremy shrugged, “I haven't had much to do since I'm bound to this room right now.”

Suddenly the door was kicked open, his dad tripping forward a bit.

“Good because we're here to cheer you up and have fun!”

“Michael!” Mr Heere chuckled, picking himself up, “You we're meant to wait!”

Michael just shrugged in response and came in.

The 'we’ he referred to was 6 other teenagers around the same age as him that followed Michael in. Jeremy had already assumed Michael must have been a close friend of his before he lost his memory by the way he reacted to him waking up, but he hadn't the foggiest idea of the identities of the rest of the rest of the group. We're they his other friends? He didn't have a clue, but they didn't exactly look like outcast need material. Was….he a popular kid?

He looked a little overwhelmed as they all filed and made themselves comfy in various parts of the room and as his dad left. He didn't know them. He knew that he couldn't keep up the facade that he was the same as before hospital with /this/ many people. Oh boy. He needed to tell them. Would he rather not tell them? Oh hell yes. But did he not want to look even more awkward by feigning knowing what was going on? No way.

“You alright Jeremy?” one of the girls bounced over, sitting on one of the bean bags by his bed. She was a little shorter than Jeremy and was definitely the most lively of the bunch.

He could trust these guys… right? He bit his lip and prayed that he could trust them.

“Mmmm honestly? Not really,” he responded, pushing his hair through his hand. All the eyes in the room turned to him, worried. Of course they were going to be worried. Jeremy didn't like the attention, but he couldn’t help it. “Hell, how do I put this… I don't know who any of you guys are.”

“What do you mean, you don't know who we are?” A short muscular guy frowned, which Jeremy recognised as Rich's voice from the hospital.

“I don't remember anything from before waking up in hospital. I know my name, the bare bones of some of my interests and that's it? And those things I got from paying attention to people talking to me, and from searching this room. Who the hell am I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta-ed/edited 11/09/2018 bc im going through and fixing a bunch of stuff bc my old writing sucked


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy and co try and figure out Jeremy's amnesia. They play smash brawl on the Wii u. Neither things turn out the way they'd like.

“Are you for real dude?” The tall guy in a wheelchair next to Rich piped up.

“Unfortunately, yeah.” Jeremy averted his eyes. He began to pick at the hem of his cardigan, the heat of everybody’s gaze n him. “Rich and Michael said each other names back in hospital, and my name for that matter, and I've scoured my bedroom for answers but I haven't got much to work off of. This is absolutely terrifying. I don’t know who I should trust, what I should say, hell telling you guys is like a massive risk but I can’t hide it for long.”

Alarm bells went off in Michael's head. Jeremy had legitimately forgotten him. Granted, he'd forgotten everyone else as well, including himself, but he'd forgotten him. Michael honestly wanted to go off in a corner and cry, but as Jeremy's best friend, it was his duty to help him in any way he could, even if Jeremy didn't remember him. He got up, went over to the bed Jeremy was sat on and sat next to him, reaching out and ruffling his hair.

“Dude, you can count on us to help” he smiled softly at Jeremy who looked back up at him with slightly watery eyes, “Most of us have gone to school with you for years, and I've known you since we were little, so I think collectively we can at least fill in /some/ of the blanks.

“I guess introductions are needed so, uh. I'm Michael Mell, I'm 17 and I've been your best friend since kindergarten.”

Michael gestured to the others to reintroduce themselves to Jer. The pretty bubbly girl was a theatre geek called Christine, the tall guy and the brunette next to Rich were Jake and Chloe, the blonde babe was Brooke and the girl on her phone beside her was Jenna. Were these guys really his friends? Jeremy couldn’t get his head around the fact that these people, who he was quickly realising were definitely the ‘popular kids’, would want to be friends with a nobody like him. His eyes widened slightly, realising something new about himself; he had terrible self-confidence, wow.

“Kinda odd question but h-how did I, uh, become friends with you all?” Jeremy cocked his head, lightly grimacing, “Michael I can kind of understand- uh nO offence dude,” Michael chuckled. “But you guys look like, how do I put this, popular?”

“Oh, we are popular,” Chloe laughed.

“Most of us didn’t notice you until recently,” Rich responded, “You took, uh, drug? And it made you act cool so you got to hang with us and even date within the group.”

Brooke flinched very slightly at the dating. So...Jeremy had dated Brooke? He assumed at least. Hell, Jeremy was going to do a lot of assuming, wasn’t he. Evidently, that did not turn out well and she was still healing from those scars. Jeremy made a mental note not to bring it up.

“A...drug?”

“Why do you think you were in hospital Jer?” Michael continued, “Do...you remember anything about SQUIPs?”

SQUIPS… That was what the bulk of what Jeremy was researching last time he had access to his computer. It must be really dangerous, and not legal for that matter if it got him in hospital. Following his browser history, there was basically nothing about SQUIPs online. Was it, like, one of those dark web things? It wouldn’t surprise him if that drug was the cause of his memory loss. A hazy buzz was all he got from that thought.

“Not really?” Jeremy frowned, “It sounds, familiar I guess, and I know I have searches for it in my search history. But…” He furrowed his brow, bunching his hands in frustration “Every time I try to think about it, I mean if I try to recollect anything, my brain gets really foggy and uncomfortable, like a get this /buzz/ at the back of my neck and… I get nothing.”

Jeremy let out an uncomfortable sigh. Everyone began to talk among themselves, trying to think of options, while Michael comfortingly rubbed Jeremy’s back. He seemed really messed up by this, hell, anyone would if this happened to them. Michael hated seeing Jeremy feeling so rough. It always rubbed off on him and soured his mood until he could find a way to cheer him up. Rich suddenly looked up, wide-eyed and pale. Everyone stopped their conversations and turned to him.

“I have an idea on what could be causing the amnesia.” He frowned.

“You do?”

“Michael, check the back of Jeremy’s neck would you?”

Jeremy let him pull his shirt back and push his hair out of the way. Damn Jeremy /really/ needed a haircut. Michael couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary initially, just his neck, flecked with a couple of stray freckles. However, looking closer, Michael noticed some...pale geometric marks, almost like scars on the nape of his neck, barely visible. Michael recognised these marks from Jeremy’s wrists. They were from the SQUIPs shocks.

“M-Michael? Is there something wrong with my neck?”

Michael let a deep sigh out, trying to not let the shakiness come through.

“I’ll explain in a couple of minutes but,” he stuck his head over Jeremy’s shoulder, “Uh, y’all keep Jer entertained for like five? Ten? Minutes?” Michael got up off of the bed. “Rich you’re probably right with what you were thinking, I’m grabbing some Mountain Dew from my house.”

Jeremy was so damn confused. Rich hadn’t said anything? Were they on the same wavelength or something? Why wasn’t anyone explain what was wrong with him? Michael and Rich were both visibly shaken by whatever was going on with his neck. Did it have something to do with the SQUIP that he had taken? What in the hell was in that thing? Jeremy bit down his anxiety. Michael said he had answers, he was going to wait for them and not stress. Or at least try.

The group paused their searching for amnesia answers and set up Jeremy’s Wii U which judging my the layer of dust covering it hadn’t been used for a long while, setting up Super Smash Brawl as it was the only game that he had that would support 7 players. Although he lost his memory, he seemed to still have muscle memory of playing this game. Jeremy picked Pac man, which apparently didn’t surprise anyone - was that one of Jeremy’s gimmicks? Jeremy seemed to have the upper hand in most rounds, frustrating the others to no end with his dash attack, although everyone was at least competent at the game.

As they began their third match Jeremy began to notice something strange. He was getting progressively worse, which could have been attributed to the others warming up to the play mechanics, but it was like he had another pair of hands on top of his, guiding them despite him not needing any help with this game, his fighting against it handicapping his playstyle. The buzzing returned at the nape of his neck, but also by his wrists. He desperately tried to ignore it, not wanting to put a dampener on everyone's fun, but by mid-way, through the match it got to the point of being painful.

“Not used to losing, are you Jeremy,” Jake grinned, attacking Jeremy as Little Mac with a combo.

Jeremy chuckled in response, biting down the pain reverberating through his body. He couldn’t keep it hidden for long as he began to get dizzy from it, and wasn’t listening to what the others were saying. The controller became lax as he dropped one hand to steady himself. Had it always been this hot in here?

“-rmy?! Jere_” Everything was hazing and hot. His vision went blurry. He felt a couple of pairs of arms help carefully lower him into a lying position. Tears were streaming from his eyes, but Jeremy didn’t dare scream. That would worry his friends even more, wouldn’t it?

Michael heard a panic upstairs as he returned to Jeremy’s house with a bottle of mountain dew red. He practically vaulted up the stairs and slammed open the door. Everyone was crowded round Jeremy, who was almost passed out on the floor, tears streaming from his face, shaking.

“He just passed out mid-game,” cried Brooke, “What’s wrong?!”

“Move guys, we gotta give him this” Michael pushed his way to Jeremy.

“Mountain Dew Red? How is an energy drink meant to help him?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what time is it? suffering o clock you say? im sorry its a running trend in my works that the squip is mean to jeremy but hey thats in character, right? ;3
> 
> Beta-ed/edited 11/09/2018 bc im fixing a bunch of bad writing


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael saves the day, also explains the events of the musical. uwo

As he drifted through the pain and haze he let his mind wander, and wander it did, into one of his old memories. Jeremy jumped at this chance, glad to find out any information at all pertaining to his past. He found himself with a controller in his hand, playing video games and smoking weed with Michael. This felt familiar. After the round ended Michael flopped over onto his lap, chuckling a little. Jeremy smiled softly back at him. They sat there for a bit, Jeremy idly petting Michael’s hair. A thought came swooping in of “Oh, this is kinda gay” which granted, did make him freeze up a little, and was definitely true, but he didn’t want Michael to notice, so he just continued to fiddle with his hair as Jeremy began to blush. He let himself drift back into the buzzing.

 

Michael managed to pour a little bit of the soda into Jeremy’s mouth. The group went silent as they waited for something to happen. As he did Jeremy began to shake more before settling down. He groaned, propped himself up on one elbow, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. He squinted, coming back around. He could make out Michael was knelt beside him, holding...a bottle of red soda? He chewed on his lip slightly as he recollected his memory, biting down a blush. The buzzing faded away as he sat up a little more.

 

“Jeremy, are you back with us?” Michael waved his hand in front of Jeremy’s face. He batted it away, and he began to try and get up but was ushered back down by a plethora of hands. The rest of the gang were gathered around him with concerned faces.

 

“How did you-”

 

Michael began to babble.

 

“The buzzing, the SQUIP, they’re all connected and therefore I thought, maybe if mountain dew red deactivates the SQUIPs it should help with the buzzing, and it looks like it works which means that the SQUIP is still affecting you which means it’s not entirely gone which means most of us are at risk now which-”

 

“Woah woah woah, slow down buddy,” Jeremy weakly smiled, “Amnesia, remember? Explain in, uh, steps?”

 

Michael chuckled slightly.

 

“Sorry. Ok, uhh, bar like Rich and Christine and Jeremy, the rest of you took a SQUIP and didn’t have any of it explained to you, so I guess this’ll be news for you too. The SQUIP isn’t any old drug, its a Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor, a supercomputer from Japan that implants itself in your brain and helps you be cool I guess? And you can customise it and stuff like Rich’s was Kermit the frog.”

 

Jeremy raised an eyebrow and Rich shrugged. He just liked Kermit at the time of taking his and didn’t bother to change it.

 

“You activate it with normal green mountain dew, and different colours affect it in different ways, but red deactivates it. Don’t ask why mountain dew. Your SQUIP blocked me from your vision, because it's’ an /asshole/, and gave SQUIPs to rest of these guys using your body, and synced them all up and when you eventually convinced Christine to drink the last of the mountain dew red that I’d brought, which shut down all the links. Your amnesia? Probably a last ditch effort to stop you. We’re lucky it didn’t do worse.”

 

That explained a lot of things. The group sat in thought as Jeremy mulled over his memory. Did he have his SQUIP at that point? With the tone shift when Michael talked about being optic nerve blocked by him, he doubted they’d have hung out, so it had to be from even further back. Wait, optic nerve blocking? How did Jeremy know that term? A buzz was his only response.

 

It was getting late, so everyone made their excuses and made their leave eventually, bar Michael, who volunteered to look after Jeremy during non-school hours. Whenever a wave of pain came, Jeremy notified Michael who gave him some mountain dew red to combat it. This method wasn’t perfect, as the deactivation or whatever was still kinda painful, but it was better than passing out in pain.

 

By the evening they found themselves led on Jeremy’s bed, miraculously both fitting on it, idly on their phones as they waited for fatigue to hit. While Michael was playing Minecraft of all things on his phone, Jeremy was searching up what he could on social media about Michael. He had come to terms with that yes, that memory was kinda gay, and it was coming more and more apparent that at some point he’d had a crush on his best friend. There were plenty of photos of the two of them, and there was definitely more than one group photo where he was looking at Michael longingly. Jeremy knew he’d been dating Brooke, and he had got the gist that he had dated her as a stepping stone to getting with Christine, which hadn’t evidently happened, so he pegged that on the SQUIP. So he liked girls and guys? Jeremy made a mental note about being bi.

 

He glanced over at Michael. He was building a house in an outcrop of rock he’d found. Did he… still have a crush on Michael? Or have a crush again I guess? He did feel a flutter of something when he looked at him, but it was consistently repressed by the buzzing. Did the SQUIP not approve, even in it’s weird deactivated state?

 

Michael tried to focus on building himself a house before nightfall in his game, but he couldn’t help but notice the warmth of Jeremy's back on his, and one of Jeremy’s legs entangled in between his calves. Obviously, it hurt that Jeremy didn’t remember anything about their lives and their, friendship? Relationship? Although it meant that literally everyone could start afresh with him, it just felt off. Michael staying in the same bed as him must be so awkward for him. Michael would support Jeremy’s escapades in trying to date their classmates to the end of the earth, but he couldn’t deny that he knew Jeremy wouldn’t turn around as ask him out for a change. Before all this SQUIP trouble, how did Michael’s flirting just go over his head? There was no doubt about how obviously he had been pining after him. And now with this memory loss? Michael didn’t have a sliver of a chance. Better off to rebuild their friendship back up rather than ruin it trying to take it further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was originally gonna have the memory being the bed scene from the Halloween party, but i didnt feel like writing conflict from that? so uh have some gay instead lmao, the do you wanna hang will coming in the future watch out uwu


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cuddles and clothing I guess

It must have been well past midnight, and Michael was still not asleep. He was still worried about Jeremy. What if the SQUIP attacked Jeremy while he’s sleeping? What if he never wakes up? He was at war with these intrusive thoughts. These were interrupted by Jeremy somehow rolling over in the little space in between them and cuddling up to Michael unconsciously. Oh man, definitely a good distraction. Michael tried to wriggle away, blushing profusely, only to find Jeremy cuddling closer. Michael chuckled, carefully rolling over to face him. There was no escaping this, so he might as well enjoy this. Jeremy’s quiet snoring reverberated gently against Michael’s chest, almost like a purr. Michael smiled as he drifted off to sleep.

 

It was so warm. It was like there were cushions all around Jeremy, slowly shifting. It took him a couple of drowsy minutes to realise this wasn’t quite normal. His breath got caught in his throat as he opened his eyes, fully waking him up as his heart began to race. He and Michael were entangled together, almost spooning. He couldn’t deny, it was pretty comfortable, but hoO BOY was he close to Michael. Jeremy tried to untangle himself carefully, but it wasn’t long before Michael woke up. Jeremy tried to suppress his blushing as Michael woke up, quickly locking eye contact with each other.

 

“Comfy?” Jeremy grinned.

 

“Actually, yeah I am. I’m gonna stay like this forever.” Michael rolled over slightly, squishing Jeremy under his weight. “Wow! I didn’t notice this extra pillow here!” He grinned, being careful not to hurt Jeremy as he rolled further onto him.

 

“Dude!” Jeremy cried as he was squashed, laughing and pushing back against him. Jeremy somehow managed to wriggle out and burst out, comedically gasping for air.

 

“Woe is me, I t’was down there for days!” He over dramatically collapsed onto Michael, who couldn’t suppress his laughter, especially since Jeremy's joking made him snort loudly and laugh more, swatting the boy playfully. He was smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. "Holy hell I haven't- I haven't laughed this hard in too long- oh mAN-" He wheezed and tried to sit up, flopping back down in defeat and laughing more. "I've been defeated. The Jeremy has conquered me."

 

Jeremy posed triumphantly, grinning from ear to ear, mockingly flexing his noodle arms.

“Another victory for The Great and Powerful Jeremy!” he said in a mock announcer voice, “Tune in next week to see if the tides will turn for the Magnificent Michael!”

 

Both of them were uncontrollably laughing now, their sides hurting and tears forming in their eyes, their blushing mixed in with the red of their laughter. Their fun was interrupted by the buzzing. Oh the SQUIP did NOT like this. The haze and pain jumped from one to one hundred very quickly, and the tears formed from joking were not mingled with tears of pain.

 

“Mi-Michael,” Jeremy wheezed, “Mou-Mountain Dew… Dew Red.”

 

Michael immediately broke into a serious face, grabbing a bottle from under the bed and passing it to him. Jeremy felt much better after he took a sip. They both wiped their tears and sat up. Jeremy turned to Michael.

 

“I want to go to school today.”

 

“Are you sure? The SQUIP is still messing with you, and the amnesia?”

 

“It’s too damn boring at home. I am literally losing my mind and I trust you and the gang to look after me and not take advantage of this,” He knocked on his head. “And I still know trivia that I should’ve forgotten. Like, I still remember a bunch of Math stuff, like uh quadratic formula? And the last book we looked at in English was Pride and Prejudice? Teachers and rooms? No clue. Homework? Ha! Beats me. But I think I have the basics down?”

 

Michael nodded “Fair enough, I trust your self-evaluation skills, though you may have to convince your dad to let you leave.” He chuckled.

 

Michael had a change of clothes in his backpack, so he was set clothing wise as he left the room to go brush his teeth. Jeremy stood in front of his closet, flicking through his shirts. What would past Jeremy wear? A buzz in response. Jeremy groaned and pushed his fringe out of the way. He had been playing it cool with this amnesia with everyone, hell even himself, as he shouldn’t waste energy on something he can’t change, but honestly? Jeremy was terrified. What if he never gets his memories back and has to rebuild a new life for himself piece by piece? What if people liked this new him, anddidn’t like as much as the old Jeremy? What if they liked him more? He didn’t want to disappoint anyone with his trying to cope with this and frankly, he didn’t want to disappoint himself. He wanted to know what he was like, but at the same time, he was scared what he might find. His run-in with his SQUIP sounded pretty serious from how the others reacted and Jeremy was terrified of what dark things he might remember. 

 

Shaking these thoughts out of his head for the moment and taking a deep breath, picked out a white, red, green and black striped t-shirt, a deep green cardigan and a pair of jeans. As he took his pyjama shirt off Michael popped his head back in, toothbrush in mouth.

 

“Youw prowbleh whant thisch,” He tossed Jeremy a binder, before disappeared to finish brushing his teeth. Jeremy finished getting dressed before swapping places with Michael.

 

They were greeted with a pantsless Mr Heere as they headed downstairs for breakfast. He waved his hand in greeting as he scooped a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. 

 

“Green, huh?” he said between mouthfuls, “Suits you, Jeremy.”

 

Jeremy briefly panicked. Was green not what he usually wore? There was actually a variety of colour in his closet and he just picked a shirt by random and matched a cardigan to it. What colour did he used to wear? Yellow? Pink? Blue? Oh man, he realised that he hadn’t told his dad that he had amnesia. Should he even break it to him? Jeremy decided not to, that would just complicate things, and make leaving for school much longer.

 

“Yeah, I decided to change it up a little for going back to school.”

 

“You’re going back? Already? You teens hate school!”

 

“Ok, first, not all teens, not saying that's us, but yeah not all teens,” Michael started.

 

“And secondly, I feel fine now? So I might as well test the waters, and if I feel woozy I’ll just come back home.” Jeremy finished.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy goes to school and learns stuff

Jeremy was just about surviving the day. All the teachers were sympathetic and frankly surprised he was back so soon after getting out of the hospital. I mean, they were pleased that he had caught up on the couple of months work he'd missed, but one couldn't deny that they were a little worried about him. Jeremy kept to himself in most of his lessons, as when the gang was in the same class, they were generally too far away to support him. He was okay with that though. He made sure to take periodic sips of mountain dew red so he could concentrate and ignore the buzz of the SQUIP. 

 

The day was rather uneventful until last period, English Lit, where he was sat and was partnered with Christine, the bubbly theatre kid that had mained Kirby yesterday. They were meant to be working on a mind map about the themes of appearance and reality in The Great Gatsby. Although he did remember stuff about that, he had a feeling he'd be asking more and writing less. He still had so much to figure out and he was still missing so much information - no more memories had returned yet. They got started on the mind map, making branches off about Gatsby and Jordan and Tom, and the differences between how they presented themselves and how they really were.

 

“Christine?”

 

“Mmm?” She started to scribble down some quotes.

 

“What... were we- what relation did we have before the uh ‘incident’?”

 

“Well, from my viewpoint at least, you were originally this dude that I vaguely acknowledged was in my year? Then you joined the play - A Midsummer's Night's Dream - and we started talking and we just clicked. I started dating Jake at that point and that didn't last long, then you asked me out and I turned you down because we barely knew each other.”

 

She chuckled.

 

“ I think then you told me about your SQUIP and I'm pretty sure someone, I can't remember if it was you or not, said that you took the SQUIP so you could romance me I guess? And then I accidentally got one during the play and your one… forced me to out my feelings for you?”

 

She furrowed her brow.

 

“It was more concentrated, way more generalised and all my platonic feelings left over were shoved out of the way, and it was absolutely terrifying because I couldn't control it, but you got me to drink the Mountain Dew Red and more or less stopped your SQUIP.”

 

“Does that mean we're a… ?”

 

“Jeremy, you barely remember yourself, nevermind me. Give yourself time to refigure yourself out. If you end up deciding to pursue dating me again, we can see if that could work out, but you don't have to follow the past you's footsteps exactly. Your past does not define you, there's plenty of opportunities that you haven't noticed yet because you're too worried about your past.”

 

Jeremy mulled the information he'd gathered as he said bye to Christine at the end of the lesson and parted ways to go home. He needed to pool all that he'd gathered in one place. A mind map like in English? Too small. But a conspiracy board? He had an inkling of a feeling that he had the appropriate supplies scattered throughout his bedroom. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice someone approaching him until he found himself pinned to a row of lockers by a large dirty blonde jock. Obviously, Jeremy had no clue who he was and what he wanted. Improvisation time, I guess?

 

“Ugh, what do you want?” Jeremy subconsciously puffed out his chest a little as he glared this dude square in the eyes.

 

“You were spreading rumours last time you were here,” The dude pressed his finger into Jeremy’s chest. A crowd was beginning to gather. “I could care less you've been MIA for awhile. You've been wreaking my reputation and I’m not gonna just stand here and watch it be tainted.”

 

“Buzz off man.” 

 

Jeremy knocked his hand away, slipping out from under his grasp. Hoo boy, he was barely keeping his cool. What mess had he got into before the incident? What had the SQUIP told him to say? What had the SQUIP done that he didn't know about? How much did his SQUIP control him? How many people did he hurt to get what he wanted? Jeremy didn’t give his brain a chance to chase that rabbit hole.

 

He felt the buzz rise on his neck as he felt not just his hands, but his whole body taken over by the invisible force from before. He had no time to repress in as he found himself suddenly ducking and leaping back, narrowly missing getting clocked in the face by this dude. Was his SQUIP...actually helping him? He didn't resist and let it guide him, although he didn't like the idea of him actually hitting this dude and hoped it wouldn't come to that. He was pissed. He ducked around a couple of sharp jabs and slipped just out of reach, causing the dude to trip forward a little. He turned, running at Jeremy to try and ram his legs, but he just jumped over almost effortlessly. He could...jump that fast and accurately? Jeremy ducked under or around every punch this guy continued to throw, the SQUIP occasionally helping him redirect this dude so he'd punch the lockers instead of him. They had gathered quite the crowd now as Jeremy danced around his blows. It was useful that Jeremy was particularly light which gave him extra speed against this guys muscle and power, especially since he was letting the SQUIP have free range at that point. His punches became more sloppy as he became angrier. 

 

The SQUIP yoinked him back as Jake wheeled through the crowd and clocked the guy in the jaw, knocking him to the floor.

 

“Jake!”

 

“You ok dude?” He smiled as the crowd dispersed, the height of the fight over. Teachers were gonna catch wind of a fight and come running soon.

 

“A little shaken, yeah, but hhhh I t-think I'm fine.”

 

He slapped Jeremy on the back.

 

“You better go before he gets up and before any teachers get here. See you later Jeremy!”

 

Jake disappeared into the wave of students heading for the door, and with one last glance at his attacker, dashed off to join the crowd.

  
  


Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to find an old cork board under his bed and some pins and yarn. Jeremy sat on the floor by his bed, the bed propping the board and started pieces of paper he’d scrawled on and some stuff he’d printed off. The conspiracy board grew as he filled in as much that he could figure out about his past.  The parts that ended up being the largest was on what he knew about his SQUIP, and what he knew about his, uh, crush on Michael. On the parts about the pining looks, Jeremy pinned up some pictures as evidence.

He was so focused on the board that he didn’t notice someone come into his room. Jeremy frankly really needed to work on noticing his surroundings. 

 

“A conspiracy board?”

 

Jeremy jumped as he found Michael peering over his shoulder. Michael chuckled and sat next to him.

 

“I’ve just been trying to, uh, document my thoughts and get to bottom of this.”

 

“I can probably fill you in on some stuff dude.”

 

Jeremy’s eyes flicked to the branch on Michael and could feel a blush arising. There was no way he was going to be able to hide this.

 

“Yeah, that’d be useful.” Jeremy’s voice cracked a bit.

 

Jeremy watched nervously as Michael looked over the board. Michael could see where Jeremy had serious gaps although it seemed that Jeremy had a fairly accurate idea of what the SQUIP was like, although that was a little concerning, even more so as he read the paper detailing the fight earlier. The SQUIP was definitely gaining more power again, and he wasn't sure if Mountain Dew Red was going to be enough. Michael's breath hitched a bit when he got to the branch labelled with his name. Michael's heart began to race as he scanned it. Jeremy...had been analyzing his affection towards him? He recognized he was blushing that morning, but still evidently hadn't noticed him pining at him in the images...of Jeremy pining for him? Jeremy had a crush on him?? Did he used to, or did he have one now? Michael turned to Jeremy, who looked tense and cracked a grin, gesturing to it.

 

“That’s pretty gay.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff n angst? Also I don't think I included/embedded the image of the midmap/conspiracy board last chapter so I added that

“I guess,” Jeremy shrugged, “But everyone's a little gay.”

Jeremy's best defense mechanism? Being nonchalant about things. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Michael could see his feelings laid out on a conspiracy board, so he couldn't exactly hide that, just possibly soften the blow if he were to be rejected. His SQUIP buzzed at the nape of his neck.

Michael was taken slightly aback at his response. Michael had read right there that Jeremy was sure that he was bi, so saying everyone was a little gay. Jeremy was definitely trying to avoid the subject. Jer had started to figure out Michael's crush for him, but Michael was going to holler if Jeremy thought he was straight.

“Some more than others.”

Jeremy racked his brain for what to do. Michael clearly wasn't gonna drop this quickly, no matter how much Jeremy wanted to avoid it. He looked at Michael. Did he look disappointed or disgusted with him? No. Michael was tenderly looking at him. Jeremy felt a blush rising. Oh man, Michael was so handsome- nonono, Jeremy desperately tried to repress these thoughts as the buzz grew. The SQUIP clearly didn't approve. Was it the gay thoughts, or the fact it was Michael that they were about? Should...should he trust the SQUIP? The buzz began to subside in response. But... would Michael like him letting the SQUIP do whatever? He trusted him more than the SQUIP. No, he couldn't trust it, not yet.

He knew he couldn't explain the board with words - he'd just end off playing it off even more. What could he do, interpretive dance, a dramatic sonnet, a piece of art? Should he...kiss Michael? The SQUIP flared up. It said no, which Jeremy took as yes, he should. Could he actually pluck up the courage to do that. Michael was in range, so it wasn't like he had to move much. And hell, he looked so kissable. Screw it. Jeremy grabbed Michael’s cheeks between his hands, shut his eyes and kissed him as hard as he could.

He tensed as Jeremy took his face, a small squeak of the boy's name escaping him before he felt Jeremy's lips crashing against his. He froze up, heart racing wildly. Holy crap Jeremy was kissing him- Jeremy was /kissing HIM/- He had no clue what to do for a moment, just sort-of paralysed from disbelief, his heart beating out of his chest.

Jeremy pulled away breathless. Michael was just sat there, looking dumbly at him, blushing profusely. He hadn't done anything to kiss him back but he hadn't initiated the pulling away. Had Jeremy overstepped? Michael still hadn't moved. Oh man, he had overstepped. Everything was going to be awkward between them. He had misinterpreted Michael's behavior. Hell, it wouldn't surprise him if he had misinterpreted any of Michael's behavior as gay. Did he just kiss a straight dude? Then he watched as a single tear rolled down Michael's cheek. Oh no. No no no no! Jeremy buried his face in his hands, biting hard on his lip, drawing blood, as he literally bit down his tears. His SQUIP was right to warn him. He had screwed up this friendship. He should've waited to have more information, instead of being impulsive and jumping into this.

Jeremy “pining from afar for Christine” Heere had kissed him. And man it was good. Michael.exe stopped functioning. Hell, he was barely breathing, and frankly he was still in shock. Jeremy barely had the initiative to talk to Christine before the SQUIP, so him talking action, kissing him. That was a shot in the dark Michael thought would never happen. Especially since surely Jeremy's SQUIP wouldn't approve of lil ol Mountain Dew Michael being romantically affectionate with him. He /definitely/ liked him back. Holy crap. HOLY CRAP. A tear rolled down his cheek. He was so happy.

This happiness turned into worry as he saw Jeremy curling in on himself. Oh no. No no no no! Michael quickly realized that he'd failed to react, to kiss back. His face darkened. He'd messed this up. Getting with Jeremy was meant to be fluffy and happy, with laughing and cuddling and then kissing, not sudden short with a side of angst. Michael revealing his feeling was meant to be a grand romantic gesture that he made the first move in and it sure as hell wasn't gonna end in bitter tears.

“Jeremy-”

He needed to fix this. He reached out to touch Jeremy's shoulder but he jerked out of his grasp, shaking his head. Jeremy was shaking, forcefully swallowing sobs and ignoring the growing buzz.

“I overst-stepped,” Jeremy's voice shook as he desperately suppressed his tears. “I'm s-sorry dude.”

Michael reached out again, this time catching him shoulder, and hoped his grip wasn't to forcefull. He bit his lip a little, searching for the right words. He knew Jeremy used to be like this occasionally before the SQUIP fiasco, so although not the ideal situation, it was mildly comforting to see pre-amnesia Jeremy peeking through.

“Jeremy-”

“S-sorry. Sorry-”

“Jeramiah. You didn't overstep. You did nothing wrong-”

“I k-kissed you, I didn't ask if that was OK I just went with the moment but I read it wrong and obviously I should have seen your not gay-

“excUSE ME?!?” Michael interrupted, “Not gay? Haven't you noticed the patch?” He gestured to his pansexual flag patch on his arm. He said he was gonna holler if Jeremy thought he was straight and he was gonna holler. How could you think Michael “checking Rich's abs out” Mell, Michael “pining for Jeremy mcfreakin Heere since they were kids” Mell was straight? This actually took a nock to his pride.

“Okokok,” he chuckled slightly, before returning to the dejected tone of before, “Still I read your behavior wrong either way and now our friendship is ruined.”

The tears we're gonna spill any moment now.

“Jeremy, look at me.”

Jeremy looked into Michael's eyes like an abandoned puppy. Michael pushed down a wave of tears from just how Jer looked right now. It hurt Michael's heart and he hated that.

“You read it damn right and if it took losing your memory to realize then so be it.”

Jeremy actually cocked his head at him. What did he mean? He'd kissed Michael and he didn't reciprocate the feelings -  
Michael tenderly took Jeremy's chin, breaking him away from his thoughts and kissed him. And the tears started streaming. For both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to explain the patch, I project heavily onto both these boyos, my gender issues and my sexuality/feelings being slapped onto them, and so uhhh   
> I personally headcanon/fanon Michael to be pan, but lean more towards dudes? I'm way more comfy with that than him being straight up gay so :v  
> And hey it's my fic so I can do that lmaooo happy pride moth yall :3c


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this took so long bc i can write angst but i struggled writing the kiss scene?? ooof honestly i just copped out and made a short chapter

The butterflies in Jeremy's stomach exploded into fireworks. He melted into the kiss, letting Michael take the lead. His eyes initially flitted between Michael's eyes and lips, before settling closed. Jeremy's hands quickly found their way into Michael's hair, pulling him closer. Michael pulled away briefly to catch his breath before tilting his head a little and leaning in for another kiss. 

Honestly? Michael had no clue what he was doing. He had impulsively kissed Jeremy back to try to make it clear that yes, he liked him back. After breaking away breathless he looked at Jeremy. He was in utter bliss, which out of all things happening made Michael blush.

Oh boy, the SQUIP did not like this. Jeremy froze as the SQUIP locked down his body. He desperately fought against it despite the pain. Unlike the fight where he had no clue what to do, he knew in this instance that him kissing Michael was in the right. This love wasn't wrong. Gritting his teeth, he tried to move to no avail. Jeremy squinted through his tears. Michael had disappeared, he couldn't have just vanished within seconds from his lips. What was going on?

Michael felt Jeremy tense and pulled away  
Was the kissing too much? Michael immediately recognized what was happening. Jeremy's SQUIP was on full blast, shutting Jeremy's body down. Michael glanced about. Where the hell was the Mountain Dew Red? He spotted it half rolled under Jer's bed. He scrambled up and snatched it out of there. He held it out to Jeremy but he was frozen.

“Jeremy?”

Jeremy managed to glance about. What was he looking for? Then it clicked; his optic nerve blocking was on. Michael felt sick in his stomach. Jeremy couldn't see him. Great; he was going to have to do this the hard way. 

Jeremy felt a force pin him down. He was getting more and more panicked. He wanted this to stop. He couldn't move and was terrified. Jeremy was vulnerable. He wanted this to  
Stop  
Stop it  
STOP!  
For a split second he could see Michael on top of him, one hand holding him down, the other with a bottle of Mountain Dew Red. Then he disappeared. Was...the SQUIP hiding him from his vision? He began to calm down slightly. 

Jeremy writhed under Michael's weight as he held him down. Oof, this didn't feel fun as he pushed down his uncomfy emotions. Michael waited for a moment when Jeremy was more still, and trickled some of the soda into his mouth. Jeremy immediately started to thrash more violently as the deactivation began. Michael hugged him close, not letting go even when Jeremy stopped moving.

Jeremy was hit with a wave of pain and let himself be dragged into a memory, trusting Michael to look after his body.  
...  
“This is not what I wanted,” Jeremy growled. He glared at a semi translucent … Keanu Reeves? He recognised this as his SQUIP fully activated. His SQUIP sneered at him.

"It's the only way to achieve what you want."

"I'll fight back," Jeremy ran a hand through his hair, trying to formulate a plan quickly, "Alcohol messes you up, right? I'll get drunk."

"And I'll be back when you're sober," they chuckled, "Unless, you plan on staying wasted forever?"

Damn he was right, and the alcohol would probably mess up his body more than the SQUIP would. What could he do to get rid of the damn thing.

"You're a computer. There has to be a way to turn you off."

For a second Jeremy swore he could see fear flash through the SQUIP's eyes.

"I would stop there. You don't want to end up like Rich."

"Rich? What did he-"

Another memory intersected with this one. Rich ran around frantically in the halloween party, hair a mess and visibly in some sort of pain. He legged it around the party yelling "I need Mountain Dew Red!"

Jeremy's eyes widened in realisation. That's it!

"Green Mountain Dew activates you, Red shuts you off!"

“Why do you think we had it discontinued? To get rid of me now, you'd need a time machine to the 1990s.”

“Or a friend who's so old school he buys 90s soft drinks from the back room at Spencer's Gifts!”

Michael was a gift from God, even if his dated drink preferences were questionable, he desperately needed him right now.

“Too bad you don't have one of those anymore.”

Damn it. The SQUIP had thought through everything. Michael! He had to call Michael!

“I'm going to improve your life, Jeremy. If I have to take over the entire student body to do it.”

Waves of electrocution pulsed though Jeremy as he fell to his knees, convulsing. He was in a losing battle against the SQUIP. He couldn’t let everyone get squipped. But he couldn’t stop it. His SQUIP was far to powerful now, and he wasn’t strong enough to protect who he cared about. Suddenly, the nearby door slammed open, a familiar figure silhouetted in the flood of light.

“Michael makes an entrance!”


	8. Chapter 8

“Michael!”  

Jeremy promptly sat up, turnt towards the boy in the bright doorway, and was thrown out of his memory, jolting forward...into Michael's forehead. He cried out as he recoiled back in pain. Michael's reaction in contrast was laughter? Jeremy looked up at Michael. He held his forehead in his hand, pushing up his fringe, and laughed. How was he finding the situation funny? He had just got hijacked by his SQUIP in the middle of a passionate moment.

Jeremy took heavy breaths as he calmed down from the SQUIP and his headbutt. So many things have happened at once. Accidentally coming out to Michael? Kissing him? The SQUIP'S attack? A new memory? Holy crap, that was a lot to process. Michael liked him? Like-liked him? The thought made the butterflies in his stomach flutter. He wasn't sure he'd ever have requited for a long time. To have his best friend to return his love? It was so damn unlikely, but yet it was happening.

“You OK dude?” Michael chuckled.

“Hooooo yeah I think so,” Jeremy smiled, “Got another memory back, it feels… important? You were there. Does uh 'Michael makes an entrance’ ring any bells?”

Michael's brow furrowed slightly in thought.

“That would be during the play? I realized that everyone had been SQUIPed and…”

Jeremy frowned.

“And what?”

Michael grimaced. He wasn't proud of his behavior during the Play. Yes, he was valid in wanting an apology from Jeremy, but he didn't feel good about how that whole scene went down. He didn't want to lie to Jeremy right now, but he wasn't comfortable yet explaining it.

“And came round the back to get you some Mountain Dew Red to try to get rid of that damn SQUIP.”

Jeremy could see Michael was hiding something. Not lying, but still avoiding elaborating. He decided not to push it. No need to make this conversation uncomfortable when he was happy learning things step by step, memory by memory. 

Both the boys thoughts were interrupted by Michael's mobile ringing. It was Rich? Michael put him on speaker phone.

“Yo Michael!” Rich's voice chimed out from the mobile that Michael placed on the carpet between them. He signed to Jeremy to be quiet so Rich wouldn't clock onto the fact that everyone in the room could hear him.

“What's up Rich?”

“Jake and I are headed to the broadwalk, you wanna come hang? You could bring Jeremy~”

You could hear the suggestive eyebrow wiggle. Jeremy choked down a laugh. Did Rich...ship them? Had Michael told Rich he had a crush on him? He looked at him. Michael was bashfully blushing. He nodded to Michael.

“Sure dude,” Michael chuckled, “Arcade? Leisurely stroll? Swimming?”

“You wanna see your crush shirtless that badly?”

Michael went bright red and stumbled over his words. The look on his face said 'he's not wrong’. Jeremy snorted, not catching it in time, and his eyes widened. There was a moment of silence.

“Am...I on speaker phone? Are you aT JEREMY'S? MICHAEL??”

Both the boys burst out laughing. I guess the gig was up. Michael shrugged.

“Uh, oof yeah man.”

“Jeremy yoU’RE NOT FREAKING OUT?!?”

Jeremy thought about it. He was still recovering from the kiss, but he wouldn't say that he was freaking out anymore.

“No? Well, I mean ...”

“Oh my God you two are dating.”

I mean, neither had asked each other out, but with one look they both broke into a big grin. Yeah, they were both up to dating each other. Rich's voice got quieter as he spoke away from the phone.

“JAKE YOU OWE ME $50 THEY'RE DATING!”

Jeremy's eyebrows raised. He bet $50 on them getting together?!?

“what?? who?” Jake responded.

“JEREMY AND MICHAEL! BY THE WAY THey're gonna come hang with us.”

Rich went back to the phone.

“Meet us by the pizza place? Jake's paying; my winnings should cover it. Bye!”

He hung up.

So. They were officially an item now. Knowing Rich and Jake, word will get to Jenna by the evening, and by tomorrow everyone would know. Michael wasn't sure how comfortable he was with that, but he couldn't exactly stop it from happening.

“So... we're... official?”

Michael laughed and shrugged.

“I guess, because /someone/ couldn't suppress a laugh.”

He playfully jabbed at Jeremy's side.

“Hey, I have bad self confidence so /escUSE ME/ for finding the idea of anyone wanting to see me shirtless as funny.”

He dramatically posed, led across the ground.

“Woe is me I have noodle arms how could anyone love my pasta appendages.”

Michael keeled over from laughter, setting Jeremy off as well. Pasta appendages?!?!? Hoo boy, Michael couldn't breathe. He missed this; Jeremy's choice wording, and his dumbass humor, causing laughing fits. Even with a loss of memory, this was definitely still the boy he fell in love with in first grade.

Jeremy could barely hold his sides together. Everything that spewed from his mouth was so stupid but so damn good. As Jeremy began to ease out of his laughter, Michael got another wave of giggles and set jeremy off again. Man, by the time they were gonna leave they’d be out of energy and breath. Curse this spell of giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I've got as far as I had planned the plot previously so I need to come up with another chunk now oof. 
> 
> That being said, I don't know when the next update will be, as at the moment I'm focusing more on my BMC AU ask blog and my webcomic. Hopefully soon? It's not like I had a regular update schedule to begin with.
> 
> Thank you so so so mUCH for the kudos and comments, I love y'all and I hope yall like this chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boyos have pizza and are gaaaaaaaaaaaay and a big oof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So an authors note!  
> I feel so damn bad I knew something wasn’t quite right in this fic and I figured it out; Jake??? hiS LEGS??? That boi ain't gonna be standing a month after the musical. So like, if you read back I’ve beta-ed my old work to make it read better and fixed the Jake issue oof.
> 
> Sorry for taking an eternity to update! I’ve been trying to figure out how to juggle my time, working on my ask blog, webcomic, general illustrations, finding a job and this… seeing as it’s NaNoWriMo I feel obligated to at least write a chapter. It was so weird trying to integrate one of the songs? Hopefully, that doesn't feel too out of place.
> 
> Also to answer "Dear Heather Hamilton Chill” on FF.net, use the // it italicise words/phrases bc the websites I post this fic to don’t behave when I try to italicizes or bolden normally. Also its a habit I’ve picked up from RP-ing oof.
> 
> Props to “I_read_fanfics” on AO3 for the angsty plot suggestion! It was very VERY useful for this chapter >:3c Thank you!!!

Jeremy was right. They were still breathlessly laughing all the way to the boardwalk. Every time that they thought they had stopped, one of them set both of them off again.

“We-we can't keep going like this,” Michael wheezed, clutching his side as they gradually made their way down the road that opened up to the boardwalk. It was a good thing that they had a destination and time to go to because they could go on like this for hours

.

“Bold of- hoooo boi- Bold of you to assume we /can/ stop,” Jeremy retorted, getting a snort from Michael. Could they have got to the boardwalk in five minutes easily? Yes. Did they? No; turns out dying from laughter does significantly hinder one's progress.

 

They had just about recovered when they spotted Rich and Jake lounging by the railings nearby the pizza place. From the distance they were at Jeremy could tell they were laughing; possibly flirting? He wasn't really sure about Jake and Rich's friendship and what was and wasn't flirting but, like, their faces we're getting pretty close and their faces were both flushed…

 

“Yo Rich! Jake!” Michael called.

 

They jumped away from each other, turning towards the pair. There was a mischievous look in Michael's eyes; he did that so very intentionally. Jeremy suppressed a chuckle.

 

“So are y'all actually together-together, or did Rich just cheat me out of $50?” Jake smirked, raising an eyebrow as the pair approached.

 

Jeremy gave Michael a peck on the cheek, Michael froze up a little. 

 

“Sorry man, Rich gets to suck you dry of your $50,” Jeremy shrugged, ruffling Michael’s hair and gaining a light shove in response.

 

Rich chuckled.

 

“The boyf riends are here, let's get this bread!”

 

“I dunno if Pizza base counts as bread-”

 

“Jake I SWARE-”

 

Jeremy found himself laughing along with them as they entered the pizza place. He had his doubts about his ‘friends’ but with the way they bantered and how almost like muscle memory he was ready to quip back was extremely reassuring. He could put his trust in this rowdy bunch. With their support, he was going to get his memories back.

 

They quickly got situated in a cubicle in the back of the restaurant and started to figure out what everyone was getting.

 

“Bro I cherish you… but pineapple on pizza? You wound me.”

 

“Excuse me???” Rich spluttered, “Pineapple is a gift from the gods. And you’re one to speak: broccoli.”

 

“It’s healthy! And good! Just because it’s unconventional doesn’t mean its bad.”

 

Jeremy and Michael didn’t dare throw their collective hats into the ring. Michael was having your average meaty pizza and Jeremy had decided on a margarita, so it wasn’t like their choices were as controversial as Jake and Rich’s. While they were bickering, Michael went ahead and got up to order their pizzas and some drinks.

 

“Jer what do you wanna drink?”

 

Without a beat and without thinking Jeremy responded “Mountain Dew”. His eyes widened in realisation of what he’d just suggested. Michael grimaced at his boyfriend’s panic.

 

“A regular coke it is.” He turned to the pair who were still fighting over pineapple and broccoli. “Root beer and a Dr Pepper?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Jeremy chewed his lip as he turned back to the boys arguing. Although he repressed showing it, after Michael vetoed his decision, his SQUIP had given him a shock at the name of his neck. He was glad it looked out for him during school but it clearly didn’t like most of Jeremy’s behaviour. He didn’t think he needed any Mountain Dew Red...yet. Rich and Jake’s arguing had definitely got less banter-y and more flirty? They were both blushing and faces centimetres apart. If they were any closer they were going to be making out. Which frankly wouldn’t surprise Jeremy. He didn’t know a lot out of the boys, but he had gathered that no they weren't dating, but there definitely was the potential there. Jeremy just sat back with a smug look on his face. They noticed this and Rich aimed a kick under the table. It missed.

 

“What’s with that look, Tall-ass?”

 

“Oh nothing, you two continue bickering about pizza toppings.”

 

Rich narrowed his eyes at Jeremy as Michael returned with their drinks. He gave everyone their drinks and slid over next to Jeremy. Their pizzas on arrived following suit and conversation went on pause as they dug into each of their respective pizzas. Jeremy found himself mindlessly staring at Michael as he ate. That boy was his boyfriend! That dude! The thought made him fizzle with happiness inside and a faint blush rose onto his cheeks. Then he got a shock on both his wrists, making him drop the pizza slice he was holding back onto the pizza.

 

He turned to Michael and nodded, who immediately put his slice drown and bent over to get the Mountain Dew Red from his bag. Jeremy was honestly surprised the SQUIP was this predictable with the patterns it took when shocking him and how to combat that. Like wasn’t it meant to be an almighty Supercomputer? Michael quickly unscrewed the bottle and passed it to Jeremy. He took a swig and handed it back. He blinked. He was ok. Then he passed out.

He prepared himself for a memory, and sure enough, he was thrown into a new one.

  
  


Jeremy watched as he followed Chloe, who was in a baby costume, lead him away from the noisy Halloween party downstairs and up into a dark vacant room. He followed in suit to her and sat down on the bed next to her.

 

“Jake’s parents’ room. Don’t worry. They're not using it.”

 

“You uh really know your way around.”

 

“Yeah, I’ve had sex in pretty much every room in this house-” Jeremy’s eyes widened, “Because I dated Jake! God, what kind of slut do you think I am?”

 

She took a deep sip from her baby bottle. What was in that, alcohol? Coffee? Milk? Jeremy didn’t want to know. He started to nervously fiddle with his hands and chew his lip.

 

“Where’s Brooke?”

 

“Oh my god you are too freaking adorable,” She squealed, before dropping to a shaky whisper. “Brooke’s not coming.”

 

“She’s not?” Jeremy scooted away from Chloe slightly, “Then why…”

 

Chloe pushed him onto the bed. She stank of alcohol. 

 

“Do you wanna hang, do you wanna hand for a bit?”

 

She loomed over him.

 

“Just you and me intimately, talking ‘bout all out all our feelings and stuff. Do you wanna get, do you wanna get really deep? We could connect, if I get wrecked you could rock this baby fast asleep.”

 

“I-I have to go.”

 

Jeremy tried to get up. He couldn't. It's not like Chloe was pinning him at all, but his body just wouldn’t move. He began to panic. He couldn’t stand up.

 

“You’re welcome.” His SQUIP echoed in his ear.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Press F to pay respects it's the bedroom scene of the party :S

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warning!!!!:  
> **   
>  **It’s the bedroom scene in the party, so like yikes if you’re super uncomfy with this rather anxiety-inducing non-consensual chapter, please skip! This chapter is purely that scene and the lead up to Michael In The Bathroom, so it’s not essential for the experience of this fanfic.]**
> 
>  
> 
> **Also? I used google translate and memes to fill the Japanese the SQUIP so sorry for the inaccuracies.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Thank you for all y'alls comments! You really motivate me to continue this fic!!!!!**

“I don’t know why she’s so crazy about you. You’re not that cute. No offense.”

Jeremy tugged at his shoulders, but to no avail. Deescalate the situation Jer, deescalate. Uhhhh...

“None taken. I should get back—”

“You know she’s not that innocent. That wounded puppy routine? It’s how she gets all the guys. Acts all helpless so they want to protect her. Not that I care.”

A light bulb went off in his head. He got why she dragged him off here,

“You’re jealous of Brooke!”

Chloe’s eyes widened before she could cover it up with another wave of sexy confidence.

“Um. Obviously I’m not.”

“That’s insane! Why would you be jealous of anyone? You’re the hottest girl in school!” Yikes. Jeremy’s eyes widened. “Did I just say that out—”

Chloe suddenly leaned in and kissed him. Jeremy tired his best to keep his jaw shut, but Chloe’s tongue was strong and snaked its way into his mouth. With one last pull of his will, Jeremy managed to pull away, panting. At least that wasn’t his kiss virginity gone. That was long gone.

“Whoa, whoa!” He desperately called out to his SQUIP. “Make it stop!”

The response reverberated around his brain.

“I don’t understand the request.”

“Do you wanna stop? Do you wanna stop being coy?” Chloe climbed on top of him again, bottle in hand. “Do you wanna get, do you wanna get inside my diaper, boy?”

She handed him the bottle, giggling.

“It’s not actually milk,” she whispered drunkenly.

“Oh...I’m not really a big—” Jeremy felt a familiar shock on his wrists as his SQUIP forced him to swallow a large sip of the liquid. It burned down his throat and settled warm in his stomach.  
“-Drinker!” he choked out.

The SQUIP took control of Jeremy again, forcing him into another passionate kiss. He let his tongue explore Chloe’s mouth. And by let, I mean he couldn’t stop the SQUIP going hog wild. He was absolutely terrified it was going to push him far out of his comfort zone. I mean, more that this was. He was having second thoughts about this whole SQUIP thing.

“Jeremy? Are you in there?” A voice called out. Jeremy’s anxiety skyrocketed higher than he ever thought it could. He...he couldn’t let Brooke see him like this- like this with Chloe! She shushed him. “Jenna Rolan said she saw you go upstairs. Jeremy?”

There was a pause before she moved on. Jeremy sighed in relief.

“If Jenna Rolan saw us…”

“Jenna Rolan should mind her own business.” Chloe growled.

“Brooke’s going to find out. Don’t you care?-”

“You’re less cute when you’re talking.” She interrupted, yet again pinning him to the bed, pulling down his zipper. no nO NO.

“ Help me out here!” Jeremy pleaded to his SQUIP. He wanted out, NOW.

“Konichiwa!”

Jeremy froze in surprise. His SQUIP had materialized by the bed, but he was glitching the hell out.

“...What?”

“I’m sorry, Jeremy. Alcohol temporarily scrambles my /tsūshin kairo/.”

“Then why did you make me drink it?!?”

It was important you take advantage of the /jōkyō/. You’ll thank me /ato/. /Omae wa mou shindeiru, nani?/”

Chloe sat up, bored by Jeremy’s lack of reaction.  
“Whatever, I’ve had enough—”

Suddenly there was loud pounding at the bedroom door.

“JEREMY HEERE!?”

It was Jake.

Oh no.

“Ooh, the fun begins.”

Jeremy’s eyes widened.

“Is that...Jake?”

“Jeremy, I know you’re not having sex on my parent’s bed, because if you were, I’d  
have to rip your balls off!”

“GREAT, THEN YOU CAN BOTH BE BALL-LESS!”

There was a moment of silence, a quiet, almost whisper of “...Chloe?”

The doornob began to rapidly rattle as Jake desperately tried to get in. Jeremy tried to wriggle away at the same time, but Chloe pinned him down across the bed, preventing his escape. After realising the door’s locked, Jake began throwing himself at the door, in hopes of breaking it. It would surprise Jeremy if he was successful in it.

“HEAR THAT? I’M HAVING HOT SEX WITH JEREMY ALL OVER YOUR  
PARENTS’ LINENS!”

“No we’re not, I swear we’re not!” Jeremy cut in. He was petrified. There was a long pause. “...Maybe he believed me and went away?”

Suddenly a fist smashed through the window. Chloe was unbothered by this, but by now Jeremy was shaking.

“Kei-koku, kei-koku,” the SQUIP warned.

Chloe straddled the now shirtless Jeremy and began to grind on top of him as Jake began to climb through the window.

“You’re fucking dead, Jeremy!”

“Go away, we’re busy SCREWING!” Chloe teased, flipping him the bird.

Jeremy managed to push Chloe off of him and didn’t hesitate as he scrambled towards the door. He threw the door open as hard as he could, and was met face to face with a wide eyed Brooke.

“Jeremy?”

She looked about ready to cry. How much did she hear?”

“Brooke!” 

He reaches out to hold her, but hesitates when Jake made it through the window into the room.

“Jeremy!”

“Brooke I’m so sorry.”

Jeremy pushed past Brooke and threw himself down the hall as Jake gave chase, not far behind.

“I’ll kill you, Jeremy!” Jake stumbled, and quickly found himself on the floor, dizzy. “Oh man, I /shouldn’t/ have drank so much Peach Schnapps.”

Jeremy bolted into the bathroom and immediately locked the door. Then he collapsed by the tub. He was still extremely shaken from that entire encounter. Why the HELL did Chloe think that was a good idea? I mean, it probably worked out in her favour. Jeremy took deep breaths, trying to stave off his panic.

Suddenly a monster hand shot out from behind the shower curtain and grabbed his shoulder. Jeremy screamed, leaping away from the bathtub in a defensive position. The hand retracts and pulls the curtain revealing….Michael?

“Sup.”

Jeremy caught himself, wheezing. It was just Michael. Wait, why was he here?

“Michael? I didn’t know you were invited to this party.”

“I wasn’t. Which is why I’m wearing-” He gestured to his...DIY sewage monster costume. Honestly Jeremy would’ve been impressed if the context was different “-this clever disguise!

Jeremy just stared at him.

“You’re speechless. Squip got your tongue?”

Jeremy narrowed his eyes at Michael as he climbed over the lip of the bath, sitting on the edge.

“It’s...off.”

“  
That would explain why you’re talking to me.” Michael sighed, pushing his fringe through his hand. “I’ve been thinking about this moment. What I would say to you? I had this really pissed off monologue, an epic journey through twelve years of friendship…” Michael was caught off-guard by the almost longing look Jeremy was giving him. “What?”

“It’s... really good to see you, man.”

“It won’t be. Once you hear what I found out.”

Jeremy was taken aback a bit,and a little lost.

“Found out?”

“About…”

He tapped his head. OH! He was talking about the SQUIPs!

“How? There’s nothing on the internet—”

“Which is weird, right?” he interjected. “I mean, what’s not on the internet? So I starting asking around. Finally, this guy I play Warcraft with... Told me how his brother went from a straight D student to a freshman at Harvard. You know where he is now?”

“Really happy and successful?”

“He’s in a mental hospital. Totally lost it.”

Jeremy frowned. Where was he going with this?

“I don’t see what that has to do with…”

“Think, man! We’re talking an insanely powerful supercomputer. You really think its primary function is to get you laid? Who made them? How did they end up in a high school? In New Jersey? Of all possible applications for such a mind-blowingly advanced technology, you ever wonder what it’s doing inside YOU?”

Jeremy hesitated for a second. What was wrong with /him/ having the SQUIP. Excluding tonight, his SQUIP had been nothing but helpful. More helpful than Michael, who was - before the SQUIP - arguably more popular than Jeremy and never helped him climb the school’s social ladder. He just laughed from the side lines and occasionally comforted him or egged him on.

“And I thought Chloe was jealous…”

“I’m honestly asking!” Michael shrugged.

“Really?” Jeremy bit back, taking an aggressive step towards Michael. “ Because I think you’re pissed I have one and you don’t!”

“Come on—”

“Maybe I got lucky, is that so weird? With my history, I’d say the universe owed me one. And I don’t know about your friend’s brother’s whatever, but if you’re telling me his squip made him crazy—”

“His squip didn’t make him crazy.”

“Oh. Well... There you go.” Jeremy turned on his heels.

“He went crazy trying to get it out.”

Jeremy froze for a second, before loosening and turning back to Michael.

“Then I’ve got nothing to worry about. Why would I want that?”

Jeremy turned back to the door and unlocked it, but Michael quickly put himself between him and the door. Jeremy’s expression hardened. 

“Move it.”

“Or you’ll what?”

Michael knew Jeremy. He knew he wouldn’t pull anything. Not against his best friend...would he? Jeremy took a breath.

“Get out of my way. /LOSER/.”

The light dimmed out of Michael’s eyes as Jeremy exited the bathroom. He took a deep breath to compose himself and made his way back down into the party. Hopefully no one would notice how shaken he was.

The sounds of rowdy teens faded into the background and was replaced with the clatter of plates as Jeremy exited his newly regained memory and back into reality. It was only a memory, but Jeremy felt as shaken as he was back then.

 

“And he's back to the land of the living.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pizza time continues...and the boyfs have a serious conversation that frankly needed to happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c I managed to churn out another chapter babey!

Michael gently helped Jeremy sit back up. His senses were brought back to him back to his friend’s worried faces. Jeremy groaned as he propped himself up on his elbow, blinking hard to make sure he was fully back.

“H-how long was I out?”

“A minute or so? The pizza is still hot.” Rich gestured to the steaming pizzas. Funnily enough, Jeremy had lost his appetite completely. Michael squeezed Jeremy’s hand comfortingly.

“Did...the mountain dew not work?”

Jeremy thought for a moment, chewing his lip. 

“I doubt the blackouts are SQUIP related.”

Everyone was a little taken aback. Jeremy didn't mean to say it with that much confidence and so he began tripping over his words. It was just a thought, not a fact 

“No- agh I mean it definitely works on the SQUIP.” He rubbed the back of his neck, figuring how to word it. “But I think regaining my memories is just a thing that’s happening slowly and it's? A coincidence? The Mountain Dew suppresses the SQUIP for sure though.”

“Why did the SQUIP-”

“Why do you think? I was staring all lovey-dovey and the SQUIP is a homophobic ass,” Jeremy shrugged nonchalantly, beginning to nibble of the slice of pizza he'd dropped before. Naturally, Michael started blushing. Everyone began to eat as the atmosphere calmed. Jeremy knew he wasn't gonna finish his pizza, but at least he'd eaten a few slices.

“If you don't mind us being nosey, what did you get back this time?”

Jeremy hesitated at his next bite and shrunk into himself slightly. Nobody at this table was nice in his memory, including himself. He was still... processing it.

“I'd r-rather not go into here...it wasn't hhh a good memory.”

“Oh yikes, I'm sorry man.”

“Nah it's um all good I just don't wanna re-live that /in public/, if you know what I mean?”

“Of course, I won't push it dude.”

The conversation immediately changed topic but Michael couldn't help but worry for his boyfriend. Before regaining this most recent memory, he was bright and bubbly, but now he seemed...deflated? He feared what Jeremy had remembered. There were a plethora of things that he could've remembered that we're not so great. Michael prayed that it wasn't more memory of The Play he'd recovered. 

Eventually, everyone finished their pizza (Jeremy was shocked his appetite allowed for such a thing) and the pairs split ways. Michael offered for Jeremy to hang round his for a bit, and Jeremy's eyes lit up a little on the suggestion. Jeremy hadn't been to Michael's house since before he lost most of his memory. He still had the muscles memory of where things were, but actually seeing his house was a whole other thing entirely.

“My moms don't know about your amnesia,” Michael said as he unlocked the door, “They'd baby you to the high heavens if they did. I'm gonna go say hi, meet you in the basement?”

Jeremy made a sound of acknowledgement. Fortunately, Michael's parents were upstairs and Jeremy made a safe descent into Michael's lair. It was similar to his own basement: littered with old packets, with an occasional unopened expired candy bar. There was the faint smell of weed in the air. Here was arguably cleaner than his, but that was probably Michael's moms’ effect. Jeremy made himself comfortable on a stray bean bag as he waited for Michael to join him. Eventually, he heard footsteps and Michael plopped himself next to him, tossing him a can of coke.

“You know I can't open this now because it's shaken up?”

“You could,” Michael grinned, “If you weren't a coward.”

Jeremy gave Michael a shove before grabbing the can, shaking it some more, and pointing it at Michael.

“Now Jeremy, think about this…”

“Who's the coward now?” He smirked, threateningly pulling the tab slightly.

“Mercy! Mercy, please!” Michael laughed, “Look, you can swap with mine okay!”

Happy with Michael's surrender, Jeremy opened Michael's can, only to get sprayed. 

“Michael, the absolute betrayal.”

“Only a fool doesn't check if the second can is shaken or not.”

“I guess I'm Boo Boo the Fool then. But now my cardigan is soggy as hell.”

Without skipping a beat Michael took off his hoodie and handed it to Jeremy. He accepted this peace offering and changed into it. They were boyfriends and all but Jeremy's face immediately flushed. It smelt of Michael, who granted also smelt of weed, but still smelt of him. And it was dorkily big for him. Michael wasn't that much taller than him, why was it so big?

“It was the Halloween party.”

Michael's face dropped and darkened. Obviously, he remembered what happened. Evidently wasn't...good for him either, and not surprising with how Jeremy left him. He was glad Jeremy was comfortable sharing this with him, but sad he regained such a rough memory during a fun outing.

“When'd the memory start?”

“What part of the party?”

“Yeah.”

Jeremy felt nauseous thinking about it.

“The memory began when Chloe took me to Jake's parents’ room instead of to Brooke...the SQUIP immobilized me and Chloe was wasted…”

“Oh my God… did she-?”

“She… she didn't- we kissed, /twice/ but she didn't get further because Jake came I in, uh through the window.” 

“YIKES.”

“She- Chloe did it to make him jealous and he sure was. Also because she was jealous of Brooke? But yeah, he tried to kill m-me. I think they had angry sex after that but idk because I ran into the bathroom and-”

“And then we were dicks to each other?”

“Pretty much.”

Jeremy avoided eye contact. Michael was pretty vanilla that night and was frankly just trying to help his longtime best friend before it was too late. Jeremy on the other hand? Yikes, he was an asshole to Michael. Why did he even still like Jeremy? Because he had no memories? Because the SQUIP was supposedly less of a problem now? He chewed his bottom lip.

“I'm sorry for how… how I was that night. I was real messed up and I messed up. No excuses.”

Michael gently placed a hand on Jeremy's. He flinched slightly on touch.

“Jer it's okay-”

“No, it isn't. I was an asshole to you while not under my SQUIPs influence. I can't bear to think how much worse I was to you when I /was/.”

“You were shaken up big time, and I should've noticed and worded myself better. I'm sorry as well.” Michael grimaced, “And uh when you were fully your SQUIP's lil bitch, you ignored me.”

“I- I /what/?!?”

“Optic nerve blocking. You couldn't see me.”

Jeremy smooshed his face into his hands. This was just getting worse and worse. He was horrible to Michael. Ignoring him? The concept was absurd and hurt to think about. How could he /not/? This about Michael. He looked up as Michael gently lifted his chin.

“It's not your fault Jeremy.”

“Yes? It was?”

“No, you were being manipulated by the SQUIP. And if it's any consolation I…”

Michael chewed his cheek. He had been avoiding talking to Jeremy about the play. On one hand he wanted Jeremy to see it so he didn't have to explain, but on the other hand, he knew that he wouldn't rid himself of this guilt if he didn't fix this before. He took a deep breath.

“I was equally bad of an asshole to you during the play, but at an arguably more inopportune time.”

“The play? But you came and saved me? 'Michael makes an entrance’?”

Michael grimaced, breathing through his teeth. Here goes nothing.

“I didn't give you the Mountain Dew Red. Not straight away.”

“W-what?”

“What can I say? I was bitter as hell.”

“I don’t understand…” Jeremy frowned. Why wouldn't Michael help him when he was obviously in distress?

“At the time, I was angry with you; I was sick of your behaviour and I wanted an apology before I helped you.” Michael rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. “The SQUIP used your body to fight me and uh stopped you from saying sorry.”

Jeremy could feel himself being woozy. /Oh no./ This lightheadedness didn’t seem like it was SQUIP caused. Definitely felt like he was gonna pass out and regain another memory. Really? Was this really the best time? He was kind of having a heart to heart with his boyfriend here.

“Then-”

“Mich I’m-”

He didn’t even finish his sentence before collapsing, quickly getting caught by Michael.

“J-Jeremy?”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more of the play! and smooches!

Jeremy was surprised to find that this memory picked up where his Play memory had left off. However, with what they were saying before, he… didn’t look forward to this. Michael offered his free hand out to him, which he gratefully took.

“Mountain Dew Red. I told you I did my research.”

“That’s amazing!” Jeremy glowed. Michael was his saviour! “Give it to me!”

“Okay.” Then he hesitated to think for a second. “Wait. No.”

Why wouldn't he give it to him? Time was of the essence and he didn’t know how much longer he could suppress the SQUIP.

“But I need it!”

“And I need an apology.” Michael’s smile was replaced with a deep frown. “I think that’s in order, I mean, you treat me like I don’t exist for months, blow me off when I try to help you—”

“Fine! I’m—”

The SQUIP cut in.

“Vocal cords: block.”

Jeremy’s throat closed up as panic arose within him. 

“Saaaaa— Srrrrrr—”

Nothing would come out. Damn it! Michael was not impressed.

“Seriously? Is it that hard to say sorry?”

“YYYYEEEES!” Jeremy took a breath as he broke from his SQUIP’s control briefly. “C’mon, man, this is important!”

“Well, this is important to me!”

“It’s a word!”

“It’s a gesture! Gestures matter!”

The SQUIP seemed to be enjoying this drama, much to Jeremy’s despair.

“Kung Fu fists: activate.”

Jeremy’s vocal cords were freed, but as soon as they were, the SQUIP took over his body. He internally flinched as he swung his fists and kicked at his best friend. He didn’t know he was this flexible, wow. Luckily, Michael definitely had better self-defence skills than Jeremy and easily ducked around his punches and kicks. 

“This is so you!” Jeremy rebuked, the SQUIP aiming a kick to his head which he ducked under, “You love to feel superior, just because you listen to music on vinyl and eat eel in your sushi and don’t care about being popular!”

“Of course I care! I just know it’s never gonna happen!”

“So you resent me because I wouldn’t give up like you did?”

His advances were getting stronger. Michael didn’t remember Jeremy ever being this stong before all of this went down. How much did his SQUIP change him?

“I don’t resent you! I’m jealous you try!”

“Well, I’m jealous you don’t!”

This caught him off guard, giving the SQUIP a chance to get a solid punch to Michael’s face. He staggered back, catching himself and holding one hand to his jaw. Man did that hurt.

“Then why are you hitting me?”

“I’m not trying to!” Jeremy cried.

“Don’t try harder!” He resumed his defensive stance, not wanting to get hit like that again. Man, that boy packed a punch.

“It’s – Not – Me – It’s – My – SQUIP!”

Jeremy stumbled back, gasping as he finally somewhat regained his motor functions, but not for long, but at least he’d stopped assaulting Michael. He could feel his SQUIP taking control again like acid in his veins. He didn’t want to hurt him. Not again. Tears started to well up in his eyes.

“It’s taking over my body! I need your help! I’M SORRY!” He let out a sob as the SQUIP regained power over his spindly frame.

Michael seemed satisfied with that apology, and rugby tackled Jeremy to the ground by the stage curtain. He tried his best to pin Jeremy down but the boy was shuddering and flailing like he was possessed. He was running out of options...he couldn’t hold him down for long like this. Michael frantically glanced around for something that could help in when Jake hobbled in on crutches. 

Bingo.

“Jake!” Michael exclaimed, “This is gonna sound weird, but if I hold down Jeremy, can you make him drink this Mountain Dew Red?”

He tossed the bottle to Jake.

“Actually, that doesn’t sound weird at all.”

The SQUIP smirked.

“Up up down down left right A.”

Jake froze up and his expression became vacant. Oh no. This was bad. Really bad. Jeremy’s SQUIP had control of Jake too...and he was holding the one thing that could stop the SQUIP.

_______

Without warning Jeremy was thrown out of the memory, sitting up in a cold sweat, left on a cliff hanger.

“Jer?”

Michael was sitting on the bean bag beside him, concerned. Jeremy understood what he meant now by how he `/was equally bad of an asshole to you during the play, but at an arguably more inopportune time/`. But he could also see how frustrated and upset Michael was. He wasn’t exactly asking for much. Just an apology. And Jeremy had struggled to even give him that. Jeremy dove into a hug. Michael didn’t say anything, he just pet Jeremy’s hair as he tried to calm down. 

“If you’re comfortable sharing, which memory was it this time?”

Jeremy pulled out of the hug and looked Michael dead in the eye.

“The Play.”

“Again?”

“More of it this time. I’m glad you preemptively told me about it… Michael, you were valid in wanting an apology.”

“Oh man, perfect timing in telling you I guess,” He chuckled, “I mean I got one, so it’s okay dude.”

“I punched you in the face, Michael.”

“And it was a pretty good punch too,” Michael smirked, “When did you get buff Jeremiah?”

“Michael! I hurt you!” Why was he being so light-hearted about this! Jeremy was legitimately upset about physically hurting Michael as if ignoring him and calling him names wasn’t bad enough.

Michael put a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

“Jere, I’m ok now. That was your SQUIP attacking me, not you.” Michael looked softly at his boyfriend. “It’s not going to happen again, especially not on my watch. It’s alright.”

Michael hugged him tight, snuggling in close to him. Jeremy curled into the hug, tangling his fingers into his hair, breathing in his scent. It was comforting, and although he was still upset, he felt safe. They stayed there for a while, in silence listening to each other's breath. Jeremy found himself massaging Michaels hair unconsciously, Michael seemingly without complaint.

Jeremy almost froze up a little as he felt Michael’s breath on his neck, especially when Michael started to kiss up his neck. If this was Michael trying to distract him, it was sure one hell of a distraction. The kisses tickled as Jeremy squirmed under them. He fought back with his own kisses, starting by nibbling on Michael’s ear. Jeremy was pretty sure he’d never nibbled someone’s ear before, but judging by Michael’s hitch in his breath, it was effective. Jeremy made little pecks down his jawbone from his ears. Instead of going straight for the lips, Jeremy planted a kiss on his nose, gaining a hearty chuckle.

Jeremy rewarded him with an actual kiss on the lips. Every time they kissed it felt like it was their first; butterflies in their stomachs; fireworks in their hearts. Michael cupped Jeremy’s cheek in his, kissing back fiercely. No thoughts, no SQUIP worries, just living in that moment and relishing in this energy. However, this makeout session was cut short by the sound of a door opening. Oh. Michael had neglected to actually lock the basement door. He froze up as Jeremy opened his eyes and looked over Michael’s shoulder to the female figure in the doorway.”

“Michael are you- oh. OH! O H… never...mind.”

There was a creak and the door shut. Michael pulled out of the embrace and groaned, head in this hands, blushing hard. Oh man, how was he going to explain this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:3c ohhohoho this is why you lock you door kids XD
> 
> thank you sm for all the comments yall! i cant promise to update consistently often, but i want to complete this fic while i have the drive to, especially since i now have some plot points set in stone :3c  
> Thanks for the support i love yall!!!!!!<3


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